How to help your child with Maths without confusing them

Trying to help your child with maths can be surprisingly difficult.

You may understand the question perfectly well. You may even remember being quite good at the topic yourself. Then, about thirty seconds into your explanation, your child says:

“That’s not how my teacher does it.”

At this point, one of you becomes confused and the other becomes irritated. Sometimes both.

The problem is not necessarily that your method is wrong. There are often several valid ways to solve a maths problem. The difficulty is that your child may still be learning one particular method and may not yet understand how the different approaches are connected.

Fortunately, you do not need to become their second maths teacher. In most cases, the best help involves asking good questions, encouraging them to explain their thinking and helping them identify exactly where they became stuck.

Start by asking them to explain the question

Before launching into your own explanation, ask your child what they think the question is asking them to do.

Useful questions include:

• What information have you been given?
• What are you trying to find?
• Have you seen a question like this before?
• Which part do you understand?
• At what point did you become stuck?

This helps separate two very different problems.

Your child may not understand the maths. Alternatively, they may understand the maths but have misread the question, forgotten a formula or become overwhelmed by the way the information is presented.

Those problems require different kinds of help.

Ask to see the method they have been taught

Schools sometimes teach methods differently from the way parents remember them.

This is particularly common with:

• long multiplication;
• division;
• fractions;
• percentages;
• algebra;
• rearranging equations.

The modern method is not automatically better, and the older method is not automatically wrong. However, introducing a completely different approach during homework can make matters worse—especially when the child is still trying to become confident with the classroom method.

Ask them to show you an example from their exercise book, worksheet or online lesson. Even an incomplete example may reveal the steps they are expected to follow.

Once you can see the structure, you can help them continue without replacing it with an entirely new system.

Avoid taking over the pencil

It is tempting to demonstrate the whole solution yourself. This feels helpful because the page quickly fills with correct mathematics.

Unfortunately, the parent often ends up doing far more thinking than the child.

Try to keep the pencil, keyboard or tablet in your child’s hands. Ask them what the next step should be. Give a small prompt when needed, but let them carry out the calculation.

A useful rule is:

Help with the next step, not the entire question.

Once they have completed one question with support, ask them to try a similar question independently. That is the point at which you discover whether the explanation has actually helped.

Be careful with “It’s easy”

Adults often say this to reassure children:

“Don’t worry. This is easy.”

The intention is kind. The effect may not be.

A child who is already struggling may hear:

“Everyone else finds this easy, so there must be something wrong with me.”

It is usually better to say:

• This is difficult when you first meet it.
• Let’s break it into smaller steps.
• You already understand the first part.
• We only need to work out where it went wrong.
• Try one more, and then we’ll check it.

This acknowledges the difficulty without suggesting that the child cannot cope with it.

Ask them to explain their answer

One of the most useful things a parent can do is simply listen.

Ask your child to explain:

• why they chose a particular operation;
• how they reached the answer;
• how they know the answer is sensible;
• what they would do differently next time.

A child can sometimes produce the correct answer by copying a procedure without understanding it. Equally, they may have a sensible method but make one small arithmetic error near the end.

Asking for an explanation helps reveal the difference.

You do not need to use complicated mathematical language. A simple question such as “Why did you divide there?” can tell you a great deal.

Do not correct every mistake immediately

Mistakes are useful evidence.

Rather than instantly pointing at the incorrect line, ask your child to check the answer themselves.

They might estimate first, substitute the answer back into an equation or compare it with the size of the numbers in the question.

You could ask:

• Does that answer look too large or too small?
• What would happen if we worked backwards?
• Can you check it using a different method?
• Which line do you think might contain the mistake?

Finding and correcting an error is often more valuable than completing a question correctly on the first attempt.

Keep help sessions short

A twenty-minute focused session is usually more useful than an hour of rising frustration.

Stop when your child is no longer thinking clearly. Continuing simply because the homework has not been finished can turn a small mathematical difficulty into a much larger emotional battle.

It is reasonable to leave a note for the teacher explaining that your child attempted the work but became stuck. Teachers generally find this more useful than receiving a beautifully completed page that was largely produced by a parent.

Know when to stop explaining

Sometimes your child needs help from someone who knows exactly how the topic has been taught in school.

This may be the class teacher, a tutor or a suitable worked example.

You have not failed if your explanation does not immediately solve the problem. Teaching a method clearly requires more than knowing how to get the answer yourself.

There is also value in allowing the teacher to see genuine gaps in understanding. A perfectly corrected homework page can accidentally hide the fact that a child needs further support.

Use practice that gives immediate feedback

When children are practising independently, immediate feedback can prevent them from repeating the same mistake throughout an entire page.

A self-marking worksheet allows them to:

1. attempt a question;
2. check the answer;
3. correct misunderstandings;
4. try another set.

ESHEETS provides free interactive maths worksheets covering a growing range of secondary-school topics. They can also be printed, so parents can choose whichever format works best for their child.

The aim is not to replace teaching. It is to make short, focused practice easier.

The most helpful role a parent can play

You do not need to know every method.

You do not need to turn the kitchen table into an additional classroom.

The most useful things you can do are:

• stay calm;
• ask your child what they already understand;
• help them break the problem into smaller steps;
• encourage them to explain their thinking;
• allow them to make and correct mistakes;
• stop before frustration takes over.

Helping with maths is less about delivering the perfect explanation and more about creating the conditions in which your child can think.

That is usually far more helpful than grabbing the pencil and showing them how quickly you can do it.